to say or not to say?
That is the question: feelings we have toward people around can urge us to say something nice to them - or might leave us speechless.
Words of kindness, encouragement, love come easily out of some, barely out of others, or never out of few. As much as language is lacking in expression, words are still one of just few ways to connect to another person, to express one's thoughts and to help others and oneself.
Words meant to hurt come too easily out of most of us. Even from the kindest ones.
Words of truth are kind regardless of how much they heal or hurt.
Do we want to say kind words? Do we have them to say? Do kind words make us closer to those we speak to? Do we doubt they matter to those we talk to? To us?
Do we need to hear kind words? Do kind words help children who hear them to be confident?
Do we say them to children only? How about grown ups? My son tells me that he loves me often. Those moments are precious and carry light into next ones.
Do we fear kind words? Do people fear kind words because they did not hear too many of them growing up? Some of my students at the alternative school become unsettled upon hearing kind words. Kind words throw them off track.
Compassion and connection can make words not needed. Still, a word of love from a beloved might mean a world, might cheer up, might spread sparks of goodness.
Sometimes, though, one is speechless because of fear or insecurity: what if one's kind words show one's weakness? What if the other misunderstands, reads too much into them? What if they expect more?
Funny words can be kind too!
Numerous words say nothing so often.
This post is a perfect example :)
What do you say?
4 comments:
I would like to talk about this little addition "to help others and oneself". About ourselves. In France they say when someone wants to help somebody in a trouble that he wants to "se reconforter" Easy to understand. It's not a pleasure to see people suffering and we want them to stop doing it for ... us. I hate this.
it had different meaning to me when i wrote this.
When I realized how i am no different from other people in the way i am happy or not, it dawned on me just like helping others, i need to help myself too. By making my unhappiness easier, i can better help someone who might need it more than me.
as for "se reconfronter" - you sent me long way to the dictionary :), when i', back, i might agree :)
reconfronter is not the same as reconforter. It means to get your psychological comfort back by doing something you think helps other people.
I think I understand your point. It is different from this french one.
sorry i messed up the word, i did mean reconforter...
still I think one's happiness for helping others, not the other way around.
A friend of mine once said "You can not give on empty" She was talking me into making myself happier first, before trying to solve problems of others... So i kind of have more energy to give ... :)
thank you for help with french :)
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