Not now - there's no time

it seems to me, one of few gifts to our kids, family, friends, strangers is our time spent with them or for them.

I say this word "Later" so often.... Every time there is a reason for it.
Another favourite is "Not now!"

I hear myself say these ones " There's no time"....True, sometimes I get to hear this too!

Let's go to science museum - there's no time today.
Read to me - just a sec!
Hug me -

Hug me.

Hugs take time...Time takes time... Kids take time... :)

to say or not to say?

That is the question: feelings we have toward people around can urge us to say something nice to them - or might leave us speechless.

Words of kindness, encouragement, love come easily out of some, barely out of others, or never out of few. As much as language is lacking in expression, words are still one of just few ways to connect to another person, to express one's thoughts and to help others and oneself.

Words meant to hurt come too easily out of most of us. Even from the kindest ones.

Words of truth are kind regardless of how much they heal or hurt.

Do we want to say kind words? Do we have them to say? Do kind words make us closer to those we speak to? Do we doubt they matter to those we talk to? To us?

Do we need to hear kind words? Do kind words help children who hear them to be confident?
Do we say them to children only? How about grown ups? My son tells me that he loves me often. Those moments are precious and carry light into next ones.

Do we fear kind words? Do people fear kind words because they did not hear too many of them growing up? Some of my students at the alternative school become unsettled upon hearing kind words. Kind words throw them off track.

Compassion and connection can make words not needed. Still, a word of love from a beloved might mean a world, might cheer up, might spread sparks of goodness.

Sometimes, though, one is speechless because of fear or insecurity: what if one's kind words show one's weakness? What if the other misunderstands, reads too much into them? What if they expect more?

Funny words can be kind too!

Numerous words say nothing so often.

This post is a perfect example :)

What do you say?

Bonsai: enchanted (or enslaved?) spirit

The other day my son and i spoke about wonders of bonsai trees. He was curious about their size...
I told him that I used to be fascinated with them until I found out all about art of bonsai.

Bonsai tree is a real life tree that was trained to grow to look like an old tree, being of a small size.

"Contrary to popular belief, bonsai trees aren't genetically modified dwarves. They're regular trees or shrubs that are artificially stunted by pruning their roots and tying their branches with wire. The art originated in China, and was adapted by the Japanese early in the second millennium." (http://ask.yahoo.com/20010316.html)

Bonsai tree is a real life tree that is an enslaved spirit. Spirit that is bound and silenced.

Talking to my son I realized how we parents too can turn our children either into a tree or a bonsai...

Looking at old photographs

My daughter told me not to e-mail her any more. It's too late, she wrote, you had your chance, now it's over. Goodbye.

It's only when I look at her old childhood pictures that sorrow touches my guts - raising her was a happy time. A happy kind of time, when one knows right then - this is happiness.

What happened now, made me question my parenting. It made me ask myself questions about mistakes I made. It also made me tell myself that I'm happy she turned out so independent.

Unhappy times are usually under-appreciated by most. My friends and family know exactly what should be done. My daughter knows exactly what she is doing. There is nothing to be done here. This is the time in her and in my life that needs to be exactly like it is.

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